going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
