Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
