Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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