Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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