so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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