She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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