its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize