if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
