:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Operation Purity has been aborted
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
