So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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