apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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