we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
