went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she pinky promised me she was 18
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
