Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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