Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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