I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
