Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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