If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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