Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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