I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
