i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
