white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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