Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
