There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
