Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
