You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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