My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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