I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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