Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
