I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think a kid would responsible me up
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
