Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
