is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
two words: eviction party
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
