I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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