I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
