woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
