just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Sponge bath it is.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
