I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
