Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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