Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
