I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
