she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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