the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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