you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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