why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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