that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
