There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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