he wants to bone in the snuggie
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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