Its about making memories worth repressing
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
