we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
