so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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