Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
