Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
