What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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