Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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