____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think I am morally bankrupt
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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