My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
