In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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