so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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