he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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