im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
