Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
