great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
